Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Resolve family feuding quickly - bizjournals:

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Son made a mistake. He corrected it, but Dad is stillk simmering over how dumb theerror was. Mom thoughtlesslyy made a hurtful remark. She forgot all about it by thenext day, but her wordzs went into the family’s She Did It Again” file to be periodicallyt retrieved. Brother got a generous year-end bonus. The company’s performance figures showed he more thanearned it, but sincr January, his siblings have been mutterinhg about favoritism.
Because the familiews who own and run businesses are human, they’re subject to slip-ups, oversightsw and the production of unintended If ignored, others’ reactions to those gaffs and goofsd can affect the workplacee atmosphere and family relationships like a couple of rottejn apples in the barrel. Discomfort thickens into resentment that may turn into bitternese that can either explode into open conflicftor — worse — eat away like acid at the family and the business. It’s important to head off that chain of emotionss and events by moving proactivelyy to ease the tensions that distrac people and disablebusiness processes.
Whatever the source of the right words or deedz at the right time can draw in fresh air to cool the Here are a few ways ofdoing it. • Tradre self-righteousness for self-appraisal: Son made a big mistakwe in an importantsale presentation, and Dad got seriously out of sortas about it. For Dad was hot on the inside and frosty on the Thenone night, Dad looked into the bathrook mirror and recognized a guy who had made his own shares of business mistakes. That got him thinking about the circumstancedof junior’s blunder. Coulcd he have given the young guy insufficientf or even inaccuratebackground information? • Be hones t but not vengeful.
One of Mom’s less endearingy traits was her habit of popping off withouyt thinkingit through. This time, her wordes cut so deeply that everyone around her felt The wisecrackjust wouldn’t wash out of theid minds, and it was takingb up room that should have gone to more constructiv e thoughts. Finally, her daughter realized the situation had festeredlong “Mom, I don’t think you meantf it,” she told her mothere quietly, “but when you made that statement about us kids, you hurt all of us.
Pleasee sit down with us and explain what you said and help us to get back on an even Mom was surprised and eagedr to clearthe air; the family was relieved when she gatheredr them around for a talk, and life at the office and at home brightene d up again. • Find something to admire andadmit it: When news of brother’z fat bonus check got around the famil (and word of such things always gets around the the “It looks like Dad loves him gas began to pollute the air.
Reasoningy ran from “It’s because he’s the oldest” to “Hee always lets Dad win on thegolf course” to “Hre demanded the money and Dad wouldn’t turn him Then in a late afternoon gripee session that focused on brother and his someone said, “But you he’s one of the best people the most effective motivators, I’ve ever Remember he got the drivers to work overtime durinh the basketball tournament.

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